Sunday, January 29th, 2012
Golf can be a very addicting sport but like everything else interested individuals should learn about the common terminologies to fully comprehend the sport. And the best way to learn is to mix it with humor— so here are some of the most common terms you’ll encounter while playing golf:
Two wheeled bad carrier that decreases the exercise value of playing 18 holes of golf from about the level of two sets of doubles tennis to the equivalent of an hour and a half of shopping. With a four-wheeled electric cart, the physical demands of the game can be reduced even further to about the same as 10 minutes of rearranging sofa cushions, watering a dozen plants or one complete loading and unloading of a dishwasher.
The basic implement in golf, which consists of a long shaft on one end of which is the head, which is attached to the shaft at the heel and has on one side a distinct face.
A social organization built around a golf course and composed of a number of heels, a membership committee head with two faces, and a long waiting list of people who are going to get the shaft.
An unpleasant odor worn on the hand.
Mysterious ailment whose sudden but short-lived symptoms of violent coughing and sneezing usually occur on the tee or green. It can often be cured by pounding the sufferer vigorously on the back with a 5-iron.
There are two basic kinds of special footgear that golfers can choose from: traditional golf shoes with metal spikes and the newer rubber-studded models. There are a number of differences between the two designs, but the question of which type select really boils down to whether you want a shoe that you can blame for spoiling your shot because its spikes caught in the turf during your backswing or one you can blame because its studs slipped in the grass during your downswing.
Non-playing wife of an obsessive golfer. Just for the record, judges have consistently decided that although golf clearly is “extreme mental cruelty,” it is not grounds for divorce since “the unspeakable sufferings are experienced exclusively by the player and not by the one abandoned as the result of such play.” On the other hand, courts have been equally firm in throwing out wills altered in favor of favorite golf holes, bequests to dubious sporting foundations and post humous gifts for the care and preservation of treasured clubs.
A pastime that gives people cooped up in the office all week a chance to lie and cheat outdoors.
Period of time spent playing golf in a place where the rain is warm or where notices indicating that a course is closed due to inclement weather are posted in a foreign language.
A roughly circular area of smooth, lush grass whose verdant hue is ther result of regular sprinkling and constant sobbing, bawling, blubbering and whimpering.
Greenie & Sandy
Two popular side bets in which the players in a foursome agree to ante up a small amount of money to be awarded to the first player on the green on each hole and to any of their number who get out of a sand trap and into the hole in two strokes. Other common golfing wagers include paying a set sum of money to the player who uttered the fewest four-letter words during the round and the player who threw the smallest number of clubs.
The charge for playing a round of golf. When paying this fee, mediocre players should keep in mind the fact that whereas golfers who regularly shoot par are shelling out neraly a quarter for every shot they take, a hopeless duffer is paying a mere eight or nine cents a stroke.
The end of the club that slips, twists, rips or flakes, as distinct from the end of the club that rusts, splits, chips or cracks.