Tuesday, February 14th, 2012
New on golf? Here’s another set of terms to get by with the sport.
Sensible person who believes that individuals who spend time playing golf professionally are no different from those who engage in some other similarly demanding occupation such as strip mining or demolition work and that, far from paying for the privilege, they should actually receive financial compensation for their labors.
Challenging hazard located just before the first tee at most country clubs. The trick to getting out in under $10 is concentration. Don’t be distracted by the leather golf bags and matched club sets, the radical new putter designs, the smooth gloves, the shiny shoes, and the sporty golfing attire. Keep your head down and your eyes on the balls and tees. Tell yourself that your present clubs aren’t old- they’re classics. Every item of apparel you’re wearing brings you luck. Your shoes are perfectly broken in. Your hat has character. Your glove…Forget your glove. Take a firm stance and dig in your heels. Get a good grip on your wallet. Take it out in a fast, sweeping motion and lightly flip a few crisp bills onto the counter. Always, use cash: “charging” is one of the hardest golf habits to break, and those few little pen strokes can end up costing you plenty. Pick up your purchase with a quick snap of the wrist, then turn and stride confidently for the tee. You may shoot 100 today, but you’re way, way ahead of the game!
To hit a shot straight but to the left of the intended target.
To hit a shot straight but to the right of the intended target.
To hit a shot straight but to the left, the right, beyond, short of, over or around the intended target.
Specialized club used on the green. The putter differs from the other golf clubs in the bag in that it always produces shots that roll forward a few feet and stop.
Along with curling, racing in luges and tossing the caber the only game other than golf that has been voted Most Pointless Athletic Pursuit of the Decade more than three times by the editors of Stupid Sports Magazine.